Yep, today we're celebrating small victories. Like the fact that my platelet count went up enough for me to have an epidural or spinal anesthesia if needed--yay! It will be rechecked when I get admitted to the hospital to give birth, but as long as it holds steady or goes up, things are good.
Also, there is beautiful sunshine today, and a few days of warm weather ahead of us...something my heart needs after these cold and windy days lately. Adelyn has learned to say "Brrr" every time we walk out the door, so I'm sure she will appreciate getting outside on a warm day as well.
The rest of life right now is tough. Adelyn has been battling double ear infections for weeks now that haven't responded to antibiotics. She's on her third one, and it's a high dose, so we were told to expect the tummy troubles that can come with antibiotics. They were right. Trying to figure out how to predict when a toddler will throw up is hard, and thrusting a cup in front of her face when she gags only makes her confused and distracted. I really don't know how this one works gracefully, but it's one of those things you figure out as a mommy I guess, so that's what I'll do.
The antibiotic does seem to be working this time, and she hasn't had much of a fever yesterday or today, so hopefully that means it's working and she won't have to take the next step of seeing an ENT specialist. We just have to make it through eight and a half more days of this antibiotic...yikes.
I had my 36 week appointment today, and am feeling so close to the finish line. I'm so excited to meet this baby girl and to be done with the discomforts of pregnancy, but I'm also feeling very overwhelmed by things right now. I'm at the point of being big and achy and tired where doing the littlest things seems HARD. Taking Adelyn to a store to grab a few things is so much work. Finding a comfy way to sit or stand to fold laundry is more difficult each day. Scrubbing out the tub when Adelyn has pooped in her bath AGAIN is comical. I am just so pregnant. Praise the Lord.
My midwife did schedule me today for another growth ultrasound because again my belly is measuring very behind where it should and didn't grow any from last week. I'll go back to the specialist next Friday to check and make sure that this still doesn't mean anything other than that I hide babies well somehow. Sure doesn't look like my belly is small to me!
Nathan is doing well--working hard and feeling exhausted a lot, and we aren't getting to talk much without distractions or technical difficulties preventing it from being the long and wonderful communication that I am missing. He's looking forward to finishing this training period and getting started on the real job ahead, and getting it over with so he can head back to us. We like that plan.
Mostly today I am just feeling like my hands are full. I have to remind myself that they are full of blessings that I cherish and am so grateful to be carrying...even when they are heavy and hard to hold. I have been encouraged by the help of friends and family, and just have to keep battling the feelings that I am doing this alone and can't handle it all. I can, because I'm not.
I heard this song on the radio last week, and just felt the words wash over me and provide such a sense of peace. It's been stuck in my head ever since, and while in some cases that gets old quickly, these words are exactly what I need to have running through my mind over and over:
"How quickly I forget, I'm yours. I'm not my own, I've been carried by you all my life..."
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