Thursday, October 18, 2012

Ready or not...


How far along?  32 weeks, 6 days--the most pregnant I've ever been!
Total weight gain: 23lbs...not bad
Maternity clothes? Sweatpants are my friend right now.
Stretch marks? still no...knock on wood
Sleep:  has become a struggle...but I cherish it when it is there.
Best moment this week: making it to this milestone of 32 weeks and 1 day, when I had Adelyn, and still going!

Miss Anything? rolling over in bed, bending over to pick up things, putting pants on...all without making a big effort and getting out of breath. At least it entertains Nathan.
Movement: sometimes I think this girl is trying to stand up inside of me...it looks and feels so crazy, but I love to just watch my belly wiggle and feel her little body parts being busy in there.
Food cravings: Chocolate Frostys are officially my new love language!
Anything making you queasy or sick: just running out of space for my food to digest, so if I eat too much too quickly, it gets a little uncomfortable.
Gender: no new information there.

Labor Signs: contractions are still getting stronger and more frequent and my cervix is thinning, but still closed...hopefully stays that way a few more weeks.
Symptoms: My pelvis feels like it's coming apart, but other than that cold symptoms are taking center stage over the pregnancy symptoms
Belly Button in or out? out. Officially, undeniably, out. You can see it through my shirt, and it's so weird!
Wedding rings on or off? They're starting to get hard to get on and off, and my infinity ring that I wear on my right hand won't go on, so I'm thinking I may need to leave them all off soon. I don't feel swollen though, so it's strange.

Happy or Moody most of the time: I'm a mess!
Looking forward to:  The next big milestone is 34 weeks--after that if I were to go into labor or my water break, they would just let her come on out because she'd be safer out than in. We're almost to that point!



This week, we are facing a lot of big things heading our way. We are just days away from Nathan leaving for his first deployment--something that has been a long time coming but suddenly is looming large. We have been working on lists of projects and fun things to get to before he leaves, but as time runs out, there just isn't time to do it all, and we are coming to terms with that. We're both being pretty tough about the whole thing right now, but there have been a few moments when nobody's watching that I've let it spill out a little, and I think there will be many more of those to come. 

One of the hardest things that is getting to me lately is every morning when Adelyn gets up and looks for Nathan, and asks me "Dada?" with her little hands out in her question pose. Telling her he is at work each day just reminds me that I have to come up with an answer for next week, when he isn't really just at work, and he's not coming home soon, and there really aren't words that fit in the mind of a toddler to explain why not. She'll be missing his boots to clomp around in and his hat to wear around the house. He'll be missing her funny faces and surprising acts of affection, and the excitement of seeing her learn new tricks.

We won't know exactly how often and how easily we'll get to communicate. We plan on using FaceTime and e-mail and any other means of staying in touch, and hopefully it will be something we can all look forward to and really be encouraged by even though it's not quite the same as snuggling up on the couch together at night to read Adelyn's bedtime stories, or eating Moe's, or stealing each other's pillows in bed...

We've both committed to letting this be a time that our marriage grows and thrives, in spite of the circumstances making it a little trickier to do that. We are going to be working hard to encourage and love and serve each other by whatever ways we can, and plan all of the fun things we want to do as a family next fall. A family of four, that is!



We know that it will be hard, but we also know God is good and faithful to provide us with all that we need to endure. We know that we are surrounded by family and friends and a church who are more than ready to love and serve us through this next year, and we know that it will be a blessing to see that happen. I have plenty of military wives in my life who have done this more times than I can fathom, and have survived it with grace and strength that I have admired through the years. Knowing that I'm not the first, last, or only woman to walk this road makes it a little easier to tell myself to stop feeling so pitiful.

I'm still getting my heart and mind prepared for the impending birth of baby sweet T, most likely without Nathan at my side. All the planning in the world can't take away the unknowns of how it will all happen, and the inevitability of pain. I am excited to meet her, to get to know her, to see Adelyn figure out what all this talk about babies has been about, and to not be pregnant! I think it is going to be quite an adventure for our whole family that will undoubtedly be full of struggles and also joy, and we're about as ready as we're going to get...yikes!


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